I havent blogged in a while. Not like nothing has been happening – some has.
I learned some stuff about myself in the last 2 months that I have not been employed or a student anymore. My parents leaving in jan lead me to rock hill again and mario again.
Mario cheated on Kim. For the first time in my life I was the “other” one. Its so weird – i think i just went a full circle from being the girl who got cheated on to being the girl causing the cheating.
I stopped talking to mario but the painting i did of him hung over my fireplace making up for his non presence.
I saw him today after a month and a half. He reminded me of the guy who I had gone out with to Charanda’s and brought back to Roddey later that night. He was sooo happy, so full of life, so verbose.
I cried while telling him how much i want him to deviate from his life style. I dont know why I couldnt control myself. Whats it to me what he does with his life, why do i care? i ask myself that question all the time. I just dont know why.
I also met Eddie today – the guy from the JRP interview ( he did get the job). He is such a fun loving guy – i do think what draws me to him is that he’s so much like isaiah. I miss isaiah sooooooooooooo much. At times i wonder if he gave me some time if i would feel this way about him even now?
There is a job fair + Basketball game in the Time Warner Arena. Eddie will be there. i do hope to see him.
I had some training at CC’s office today. Messed around with a basic GL2 and Final Cut Pro a little bit. He is real awesome. I told him about CJ and his shady behavior. This is the exact conv we had:
Me: Do you know CJ?
CC: from…R..?
Me: yes..
CC: HOW DO YOU KNOW HIM?
Me: somehow I just met him
CC: He’s a shady motherfucker
Me: I think he’s shady too and just want to get laid
CC: r u cool with that?
Me: I dont know
CC: let me rephrase that… will u fuck him?
Me: Only if I get that desperate…im not that desperate yet…
CC: You my dear, should never be that desperate and will never be in that situation. You dont need to do that to get a job.CJ just wants some pussy
ME: you think so? but why me?
CC: Coz u have that exotic thing going..when i went thru your dvd i was like damn she kinda cute and then i had to back track and focus on like damn where’s her videography shit..
He did say that he likes me because I am like an open book – totally direct. CC is real cool – I REALLY like him.
Sarim has been ill for a bit. He had a seizure and to go to the emergency room – it was one of the most dramatic things to happen in my life. For a moment there I was totally unprepared – I have never ever even thought about Sarim not being alive – I dont know how I will ever deal with it…he’s my lil boo…he now clearly calls me pishi and recognizes my pics and says pishi…im going to stay with him this weekend.
supposed to call mario once i get back in town. he did give me that feeling today i wont even lie – the kuch khaas hain feeling – the there’s something special – something very close – some new feelings kind.
i should go to bed now. toodles.
blah
anxious
excited