Archive for July 15, 2008

painful memories

gretchen said i need closure in things in life to move on. without closure i will forever struggle with some of these memories.

- molestation

- my dad’s cheating episode

- my dad throwing my mom out of the house

- my dad beating me up severely for using the phone in front of the BRAC people

- my dads breaking everything because of shaon

- my dad not letting me mix with my cousins much

- khondokar dying

- shaon deciding to leave me

- tanisha and rozel episode

- mother’s struggle

- struggle with sunbeams

thats all i can think of right now. will explain each later. AFTER i talk to my shrink.

akta joghonno obsession

i have been told my blog shows an obsession towards a certain person i am supposed to feel nothing towards.

my heart is weak.

my mind is weaker.

is it my fault?

its going to take a long time for my heart to heal. while im not heartbroken – im very hurt. i feel very used. she asks me r u sure u dint sleep with him?

i didnt sleep with him. but my mind is so weak i dont need to fuck him to feel this way.

khub kharap laage.

a new passport

my passport expires next month so i have to get it renewed. I have been trying to access the stupid bangladesh embassy website but that pathetic site doesnt work on firefox. so finally i opened it in internet explorer and it turns out that I have to apply for a new passport coz after 10 yrs thats what you have to do.

wow. new passport = new passport picture! im excited.

the bad part is the form is terribly confusing. oh i called the embassy to ask them a couple of questions and the automatic msgs were quite horrible. whats worse is that nobody answers the damn fones.

anywho that aside, soo n i hv been house hunting. we hv seen a couple of places so far but the most promising seems to be on ebenezer – however, their is no central air n thats a big no-no.

ra is considering moving in with us. dont kno how that will go.

life is confusing right now.

ohhh i watched la double vie de VĂ©ronique…it was visually STUNNING. plot wise a little twisted and vague but in any case a beautiful film. somehow it was exactly the kind i expected seth to love. u kno – artsy+weird+foreign. i wish the weird wasnt part of it but hey fine arts in 2008 = weird.

got tons of purchase orders to do now so gtg.

p.o.