In May 2008, I fell in love.
He is an art professor. I was once his student. Years went by, no talk. One day he saw me pass by and decided to get to know me better. I opened up and let him in. I didn’t know he had a girlfriend/fiancée at the time.
After the first couple of hours I knew I was mentally drawn to him. He is an artist just like me. He loves to watch and analyze films, just like me. He can recognize and find pleasure in smaller things in life, just like me. Ironically, like Ray he makes music, plays musical instruments. I believed in signs and I saw plenty that made me sure that he is the one i am looking for. I had this old bond with Charlie Chaplin – my first love has given me a book of studies on Chaplin – another serious romantic interest had given me a biography of film makers, Chaplin being one of them. This one has a collection of Chaplin films. Seriously, how could I avoid this sign? His intelligence blew me away as did his humor. I was done. I decided I needed to pursue this man. By hook or crook, I needed him in my life.
We spent more and more time together. As much as I showed him, he must have known that I liked him. I knew he liked me, as much as he didn’t want to show it.
Days went by, my last semester in school. Him and I talked a lot more often, sent more texts.
I graduated and got busy trying to find a job. A lot of things happened and didn’t happen. In April I decided it was time I head back to Bangladesh. The job front wasnt looking good – the man I was pursuing seemed interested but didn’t really act on it.
I told him I was leaving. He didn’t want me to go. We started seeing each other everyday. The chemistry between us – the days of the rising tension of intensely wanting to hold this man but keeping my hands to myself. For that entire month I fought the desire to kiss this man, not knowing how he would react.
On the 24th of April we went out to lunch and then got some ice creams. He had some french movie he wanted to watch. I said ok. It turned out so extremely sexual we both got turned on. I was laying down on the couch – our bodies were touching. The sunlight behind us creating designs all over the room. In this dreamlike moment, he said ” would it ruin our friendship if I kiss you?”
I didnt say anything.
He kissed me…I tried to swallow a laugh.
He got embarrassed. I tried to tell him why I laughed. I was beyond happy at that moment. I couldn’t believe I was actually able to “get” this man.
So Dil Se has been one of my favorite movies for a really long time now. The exotic locations, extreme dance settings, emotional dialogues, excellent cinematography & direction. I watched it again with Seth the other day. The 7 stages of love are:
Attraction (HUB -eyes met, it is like a touch…a spark)
Infatuation (UNS -the touch of the eyes was as if, it was….)
Love (ISHQ – the flame of her body is felt, his breath starts igniting…)
Reverence (AQUIDAT – she touches him like a whisper, as if silence is mixed in her eyes, he prays, a little consciously,a little unconsciously…..)
Worship (IBADAT – he is entangled on her path, entangled in her arms, love now turns to…)
Obsession (JUNOON – living is an obsession, dying is an obsession, apart from this, there is no peace…)
Death (MAUT – let him rest in the lap of death, let him drown his body in her soul)
- this post was last edited jan 28th 2010, a year and a half ago. I still lived in the US then. Seth and I were together and I had no idea yet in a couple of months every fucking thing would change. It all started when I had to move to Bangladesh – the world’s most corrupt country.
